Friday, August 24, 2018

Starting Over + Living a Life of Intention


  What does it mean to start over. To move away from everything you know and to a city that you have never lived. To sell everything you have ever owned and rid yourself of the past? Does it mean a fresh new beginning or does it mean a loss. A loss of identity, a loss of materialistic objects, a loss of money as things aren’t valued at what they used to be, a loss of community, a loss of friendships, and a loss of your comfort zone. 
  
  When you let go of things that have tied you down, you make room to live more intentionally, to gain a sense of humility, to completely start fresh in life and live a life that is more meaningful.
  
    Before I even decided to move I felt God preparing me for something. I felt that he was guiding me in my steps. I had this urge to purge everything, begin selling things I no longer needed and sell my car (and I loved my car, and only owned it for a year).  I felt like there were things I needed to fast from (such as alcohol, dating and social media), and I needed to surrender and tune in to where God was leading me. I had never felt such an urge in my life. I couldn’t sleep because I was excited, I didn’t have a job or home lined up but I felt completely at peace with my decision. It was hard leaving my cushy lifestyle and giving up a career that I had spent the last few years working tirelessly at, but ultimately I knew I needed to let God be in the drivers seat.

 Matthew 19:21 which says “Jesus answered, "If you want to be perfect, go, sell your possessions and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven. Then come, follow me."
 This verse kept coming up. It would come up in podcasts I was listening to, it would randomly pop up in my head and would come up sitting in church and I knew I needed to make the decision to follow Christ where he was leading me which ultimately was a new city for me. Although I didn’t give everything to the poor ridding my self of “stuff” made me more generous,  able to sell my stuff for ridiculously cheap to people who needed it more then I did,  and ultimately it made me more intentional with what I buy, the things I seek, and what truly matters in life.
  After putting my trust in God and surrendering to his path everything came so easily, my stuff started selling rapidly, my car sold within a week, I kept coming across people who I knew in Toronto, I started making connections there and ultimately I felt eager, eager of what was to come. 

   I knew that once I arrived it wouldn’t be easy, but in fact growth is never easy and if you are feeling too comfortable then you probably aren’t growing and I have been stagnant for far too long...

  This isn’t goodbye West Coast but a see ya later… 
Can't wait to see what God has in store for me. 

6 comments:

  1. wow, great read Michelle. Have fun on your new adventures!

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    1. This is amazing. I feel the same pull. Nothing has satisfied me. Money, drugs, women... I guess I am the total cliche. Always ending up feeling completely empty and alone. I wish you the best and hope to find your newfound sense of clarity myself one day Michelle. Much love, best wishes. Dan.

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    2. Thanks for sharing Dan! To be honest I was in a very similar place before. I thought buying things or making a lot of money would fulfill me, I thought partying would be something that made me happy, and I thought ultimately if I dated that I wouldn't be lonely... but none of it lasted. It was a temporary high that didn't last long, but instead it was more of a distraction to not face the things I needed to face. My advice would be to give up those kinds of things for awhile in other words detox from it, find people who add value to your life not just temporary satisfaction and you may just get the clarity you are looking for. Fill me in along your journey! Excited to see where it takes you!

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  2. I'm happy for you Michelle! Best wishes in your new adventure!!

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    1. Thanks so much Barnabas :) God's plan is the best plan!!

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